Done the Fling Thing? Now Become the Boyfriend
In every relationship, or at least anything that’s transitioning to become a full-fledged romantic relationship, there is that awkward phase of being ‘more than friends and less than lovers’. As a “Relationship Design” guru, I see it out there often. It is that phase when you both can’t decide where to take your un-relationship – either that, or you’re both just too shy and too uncertain about who asks who and how.
However stereotypical this may be, the society is wired to believe that it is the man who makes that certain move. And if you’re reading this, you’re likely to be having this one dilemma: how to successfully transition from the occasional fling to becoming the official, real deal boyfriend (aka the kind that she introduces to her folks).
But how do you get there anyway?
Well now, after the chasing, dating and tutorials on how to meet and approach women. How do you become official lovers?
Start by feeling the vibe. The first thing to do is figure out if the relationship is:-
(a) ripe enough to take to the next level
(b) if you like her enough to want to commit to her or
(c) if you need more time to know each other better.
There’s nothing wrong with either of these choices, really. It is just a reality check, something to make you want to know whether or not you are ready for the next level. It is also important to check if she is looking at the same relationship path that you’re looking at. You can’t be successful at this is she is not ready to make the feelings mutual.couple
Next, maybe drop some hints. You don’t always have to go straight to the point spot on. These are big questions, these are big moves, big decisions. You can’t just get into it unarmed, un-ready, and without a clue of whatever lies ahead of you. Big decisions like these need a feeler. But while you can’t spy on her feelings, you can, however, phish for some clues as to what she thinks about it without having to bare yourself open. A little game of what if usually can do the trick, seamlessly. You can also try telling stories about friends and friends of friends who have recently made things official. Dropping hints and asking seemingly irrelevant issues will get you some answers that you need, but without necessarily scaring her off.
It’s also important to show her how great a boyfriend you would be. If you don’t want to be treated like a fling anymore, you have to stop acting like one and start acting like a keeper. At this stage, you may want to lay low on the jealous boyfriend side, but be the sweet nice boyfriend. Be more regular, more consistent, and always make her feel as special as if she’s already your girlfriend. Trust me, if she feels the same way about you, she’d appreciate it.
Finally, make sure you plan it. You don’t have to go all-out with rings and champagne, but the effort you put into the mini-proposal should somehow reflect how much she and a future relationship with her mean to you. Make it something she would love, she’d be happy about, and one that she’d never, ever forget.
Don’t become a male drama queen! Grab the opportunity now!
Ps. For more dating advice; email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
November 8, 2013